TIPS FOR SOLO LIVING

Too often, being single and living alone is seen as a negative. Living alone isn't lonely, it's lovely! Here are my tips for solo living.

I’ve been single for a few years and have lived alone for almost three years, after more than a decade of living with roommates. Moving into my own space at the beginning of the pandemic was a game changer that, while way more expensive than communal living, was absolutely a positive choice for me.

Here are my tips to help you maximize your solo-living experience-- alongside some perks of living alone that you might not have considered yet!

Tip #1 - Personalize Your Space

You've just moved into your first apartment (or house!) that is just yours! How exciting! No roomie or partner or parents or siblings to negotiate with on decor. This is the time to explore what you like and to let your personality shine in your decor. Even on a budget, there are lots of ways to express yourself through the art, furniture, linens, and knick-knacks that you choose. I think that often, when people live alone, they think of it as a temporary situation (I’ll meet mister right and move in with them soon!) and don’t want to invest time or effort into a place just for them. Whether you live somewhere for 3 months or 3 years, having it feel like home and reflect you back at yourself can make it an exponentially better experience. Plus, if you eventually do live with a partner, you’ll be compromising on all the design decisions— take full advantage of the opportunity to fully express yourself!

Decorating my own space has been my very favourite part of living alone. Even though my past roomies were very chill, it wasn't until I had a space that was fully MINE that I felt like I could express myself fully!

Tip #2 - Clean For Yourself

One of the best parts of living alone is that all mess is your mess. But it also means that you’re always the one cleaning the mess. But I live in a tiny apartment, and 15 minutes of cleaning can make a big difference. So when it starts getting messy and feeling overwhelming, I literally set a timer and tell myself that when it stops I can stop tidying— usually my place is back to being medium clean by the time it goes off. I think of it as the adult version of the ten second tidy up from the big comfy couch. A fun soundtrack makes it go by even quicker!

Living alone means there is no outside pressure to have a tidy place. With roomies, I was always conscious of keeping the common areas neat to be respectful of the shared space. Living alone, I've had to decide how I like to maintain my space.

What I've discovered is that I’m content with medium clean. To me, medium clean is tidy but not detailed, if that makes sense. Medium clean almost always feels achievable because it’s low pressure. Medium clean is achieved by doing two things my mom used to tell us to do as kids— pick & put and spit & polish. In the first, you pick up anything that’s not in the right spot and put it where it belongs. In the second, you wipe down all your surfaces and I usually run the roomba. Things like mirrors, baseboards, the toilet, and so on? Those are only for deep cleaning days, which for me usually happens once a month-ish (don't judge!).

I have a friend who hates clutter and responds to it by wanting to get rid of her stuff constantly— a true minimalist. But in conversation with her a few years back, I realized that it wasn’t that she didn’t want the stuff, it’s that she didn't want it piled on her nightstand or in her front hall or on her coffee table. That was a long-winded way of saying that I told her that she needed to find homes for her things and she looked at me like I was crazy— but I stay organized and relatively tidy (medium clean!) by mentally assigning ‘homes’ in my apartment to everything I own. Then, when I tidy, there is no thinking. Everything just goes back to its home. Even as a maximalist who loves stuff, this keeps me organized and keeps mess from feeling too overwhelming.

I also try to hack chores where I can, especially by recognizing how living alone changes things. My best example is laundry. In my studio, my washing machine is right outside my bathroom. And I have a habit of leaving my clothes in the bathroom, not in the hamper in my closet. I’ve started putting my dirty clothes straight into the washer instead of the hamper, and then running the washer as soon as it’s full! Skips a step and makes me actually do my laundry more frequently instead of letting it pile up. It wouldn't work if the washer was shared with anyone else, but for me it works perfectly!

Tip #3 - Be Nice to Yourself

I spend a lot of time alone, so I try really hard to be nice to myself. From pampering myself to taking good care of myself to having a positive inner dialogue— I don’t wanna live with negativity. Pamper future you by doing nice things that you’ll appreciate later, like making the bed and tucking in the sheets hotel style or cleaning the apartment before you go on vacation so that you come home to a clean fresh space.

Notice when things make you happy and do more of them. This seems SO OBVIOUS and yet felt revolutionary to me. I really like having fresh flowers in the house. They make me smile every time I see them. Turns out, flowers are everywhere in Toronto, can be really inexpensive, and are a great way to support the little markets and convenience stores that are honestly one of my favourite things about the city. Picking up a small bouquet for 8$ is so easy and can brighten my mood for a whole week.

If there is something you miss about relationship life, see if you can find a way to replicate it yourself. My best example is that I have smart lightbulbs. This might be niche, but I was never the one in the relationship to get up and turn off the lights at bedtime. Being able to tell my Alexa to turn them off when I’m done reading is a game changer. Plus I also have them set to turn on 45 minutes before sunset and turn off at midnight, which if I’m not already in bed gives me a visual clue that it’s getting late.

Tip #4 - Phone a Friend

Just because your live alone doesn't mean you don't have a support network! Even if you don't literally phone a friend, having friends nearby and entertaining can keep your energy flowing. In my case, a few months after I moved in here one of my pals moved in 5 floors down. In some ways, it’s like having some of the best parts of roommate life and none of the annoying, shared kitchen and bathroom, can’t walk around in your underwear parts. Not possible for everyone, but I 10/10 recommend.

However you stay connected, remember that on lonely days, you aren't actually alone in the world, just in your space.

Tip #5 - Indulge in Moderation

Something that seems obvious about living alone is that no one is watching what you do or judging you or noticing any of your quirks or bad habits. Which is liberating! But it can be easy to become a slob who is naked all the time and eats irregularly and doesn't take care of yourself or your space. Which for me doesn’t feel great! So do you, take advantage of the freedom, but also remember that caring about yourself feels good. Nourish your body, drink lots of water, move if you’re able. Indulge in moderation. You are accountable to yourself.

Remember: You Can Enjoy Living Alone

....even if you don't plan to live alone forever!

I'd love to hear any tips anyone else has for solo-living-- especially for food! Food is very much still something I struggle with as a singleton. Groceries and cooking for one is hard! I tend to repeat the same couple of recipes over and over again, but if anyone has any good hacks for solo cooking, I’d love to hear them. I hope my tips have helped, follow along as I share my single, thirty-something life in a tiny studio apartment-- and if you also live alone and are single, I’d love to hear and tips, tricks, hacks, or advice you have!